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Oh… how painful it was to discover one day, that a snowman melts in the sun. That bruised hearts do not heal as fast as skinned knees. That Sean Connery is unattainable. And, that there is no Santa Claus! The disappointments were much more when I was growing up emotionally, finding that happiness is fickle and pain so inflexible. That sex is just a consolation for not having love. The recurring disappointments of 'Ah… I thought he was “the one'. However, paradoxically it also gave me the ability to never forget one thing in life, and that is my belief in miracles. I realised over the years that miracles have a strange way of coming into reality only when one trusts in their possibility. Miracle is akin to faith. Faith that breaks a heart, in order to make it whole. As a child, I was repeatedly told about the story of Abraham in the Holy Book, and how faith surpasses all doubts. When Abraham was asked to make a sacrifice to prove his love for God, he walked into the woods with his little son to make an offering. His son asked him where the lamb is, and he answered that God will provide the lamb. He had undeterred faith, even when he held the knife aloft over his only child… he believed that God would provide the lamb in place of his child! Let me confess, I don’t have this kind of unshakeable faith in miracles. I am too chicken-hearted to hold a knife over my own child! For me… Miracle is when I look outside the window at the icy branches, and believe that there are new leaves under the mounds of snow, sleeping under those tiny nodes, and that they will unfurl when the spring comes. Miracle is that new promise in the crisp and scented air, that no matter how harsh the winter, the sun will come out. Miracle is when a ‘red-eyed’ day suddenly changes into a ‘red letter’ day. Miracle is a hurt healed by a kiss! Miracle is Christmas, when every child gets up with unshaken faith that there are gifts, underneath that tree glittering in the corner. Miracle is the faith in gifts! Gifts that come as a surprise. Gifts that are tied with heartstrings. Gifts that are not tangible or materialistic but are priceless! Gifts that say a thousand words. Words that are given as gifts. Gifts that turn a mundane life into a miraculous one. Gifts of unconditional love. Comfort. Hope. Acceptance. Hopeless romantic that I am, I can find miracles even in the changing season. And I believe that the biggest miracle of all is that ‘Nothing Lasts Forever!’ Yes, if not love, then also not heartbreak. If not spring, then also not winter. Miracle is not giving up on loving and caring, no matter how may times the heart breaks. Because what we call miracle, God calls love. Someone once wrote me these beautiful lines. Here it is: 'Love is a gift. If you receive it, try to appreciate it. If not, don’t worry. Someone is still wrapping it for you.'

I hadn’t been in contact with my friend and former colleague for a while, but with his company filing for bankruptcy protection recently, I sent him a short email. He was surprisingly upbeat considering that and the recent passing of Proposition 8. If anyone has reason to feel glum, certainly it would be the men of the Gay Men’s Choir of Los Angeles. Yet their show, It’s a Fabulous Life: Holiday Songs in the Key of Life, which opens their 30th anniversary season, is funny, touching, and, as one would expect, a touch campy. For one weekend only, Dec. 20-21, at the Alex Theatre in Glendale, the two-hour show includes a few personal stories interspersed throughout musical numbers and some short dance numbers. The show opens with Joy to the World and Santa Claus Llego a la Cuidad but also includes Kislev Cowboys — a mildly sexual-innuendo filled song based on “My Dreydl” with choreography by Billy Rugh, featuring Arron Rothbart and a few cowboys: Rod Andrada, Christopher Durbin, Chris Etscheid, Bill Gallimore, Jay Krift, Michael Lehman, Santo Ragno, Billy Rugh, Andrew Thomas, and Jacob Young. Yet the sexual content is less than you might find in sitcoms like the old Fran Drescher series The Nanny. This is definitely family-friendly fare. The first holiday remembrance (Greg Knotts) is about teddy bears and explaining to a child (in this case a four-year-old nephew) about gay coupledom — “It’s about love.” That’s the central theme returned to over and over. One of the most touching moments is just before the rendition of Silent Night. An attorney (John Duran) for Act Up remembers how angry he was with those people who called AIDS “God’s Wrath” during the 1980s and yet learned that instead of facing people with hate and anger, perhaps he should see love — as in the love of some people and some churches for people — no matter what their sexual preference. The first act ends with I Wanna Be a Rockette and the Parade of the Wooden Soldiers. Featuring Shawn Ingram, with choreography by Bill Rugh, it even has some cross-dressing faux Rockettes. The second act includes an arrangement of the Skaters Waltz and Xanadu. Instead of ice skaters, this number featured roller blade skaters: Andrew Thomas and Peter Wilson for the waltz and Rod Andrada, Bernie Espinosa, Christ Etscheid, Bill Gallimore, Shawn Ingram, Michael Kelly, Aaron Millis, Jason Ralicki, Ben Westbrook and Jacob Young for Xanadu. The last remembrance is from Hoa Le. Born in Vietnam and having moved to Belgium as a refugee, he recalls how, as a Buddhist, he found comfort in celebrating Christmas in his new country by recognizing that love is universal and even Buddha would not frown upon him enjoying the fellowship extended to him by his Christian neighbors. Like Le, I am not Christian, but I do believe in God, and that the true meaning of Christmas is about love and celebrating the common bonds of humankind. The Gay Men’s Choir of Los Angeles will be performing two numbers at 8:25 p.m. (Santa Claus Llego a la Cuidad and Are You Burning Little Candle as part of the Music Center’s free holiday concerts on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24.

This is the time of year when college students, especially freshman, make the grand migration home, from campuses across the state or across the country. College freshmen in particular seem to need the comfort of the ties to their recent high school past lives. It’s a different story for the parents. In addition to preparing for the holiday celebrations and the stress of end of the year business, parents are busy stocking up on grocery items that they haven’t had to buy for three months. It’s the case in our household as well. There was a lot more parental consternation when my older child first went away to college three years ago. (Note to daughter: it has nothing to do with who loves who more.) He was, after all, blazing a trail of independence to which my husband and I were unaccustomed. While our children’s lives were by no means privileged, they enjoyed a reasonable buffer from the harsher realities of life, and there was more than the usual amount of parental anxiety on our part. In addition, my son was moving more than 2,000 miles away to a big city where he knew no one, and the nearest relative was an all-day car trip to the south. My husband and I shed many tears that summer, for many different reasons. The ensuing silence was deafening that fall, and it wasn’t just because of a serious lack of piano pounding in the house. The back and forth bickering and sniping between the siblings was absent. We were missing a place at the table, and “Forced Family Fun” nights were not the same without my son’s input on the chosen movie or my terrible choice of Scrabble words. My son came home for Christmas the first year and reconnected with his friends and teachers. The second year he chose to stay in San Francisco. He had friends there now and things to do. That’s when the depression set in for me. I had to face the fact that the kid was no longer a child, but an adult with a mind of his own. My children may be similar in many ways, but they are not two peas in a pod. Instead they are two contrasting jewels, each with separate and distinct temperaments, talents and foibles. I’m the last person who thinks they should be the same or be treated the same. Fast forward three years, and the younger child makes her escape to college. By this time, I was ready to reclaim my house. I had my fill of three years of elaborate plans, incessant chatter about her future and plenty of high drama thrown in for good measure. My daughter also chose a college on the Left Coast, in southern California. I was pleased for her many achievements, I was happy that she was going where she wanted to be, but looking forward to peace and quiet.

At the risk of sounding like the Grinch — and not for the first time, I might add — I have to admit that I've often had mixed feelings about holiday music. I didn't always have a problem with it. While I was growing up, the sound of Christmas music coming from the radio or record player meant that one of my favorite times of the year was approaching, and like most kids I was tickled pink. Never mind that it was for all the wrong reasons — Christmas presents, a long break from school, Christmas presents, tasty goodies everywhere, and of course, Christmas presents. I think the proverbial worm started to turn (or should I say crawled out of the Yule log?) in the early '60s when I found myself working as a young DJ on a small radio station. As the holidays approached, we kept programming more and more of the festive tunes into our broadcasts, and I began to hear the music in my sleep — and I don't mean I was snoozing at the controls. By the time Christmas arrived we were playing nonstop holiday music, and I was sick of it. It probably didn't help that I had to work alone on Christmas Day. You know that old saying about misery loving company? I was all alone and completely miserable — especially when I needed a bathroom break and couldn't seem to find a song to play that lasted longer than three minutes. As the years passed and memories of those days faded, I gradually began to again enjoy the sounds of holiday music, but probably not as much as most people. And now, as I move deeper into my golden years - okay, my geezer years - I've turned into the musical Grinch, and I guess I'm blaming it all on that Christmas at the radio station. Kitty Wells, who was at that time known as the Queen of Country Music, sang a lot of traditional holiday songs. She also had a few modern classics, such as "Blue Christmas," but one of her lesser-known tunes would have been a better fit for my mindset that day. It's a little piece called "Christmas Ain't Like Christmas Anymore."

The holiday season is now in full swing and the BC Music Goodie Bag is celebrating by delivering a virtual stocking full of goodies for all music fans. Take a peak at and amend your wish list for Santa accordingly. Elvis Presley and Martina McBride – "Blue Christmas" This year holiday music could be heard over many radio stations and in every store you visited weeks before anyone sat down for Thanksgiving dinner. While it runs the risk of becoming old news before mid-December, most still turn to these CDs to get in the spirit whether we're relaxing in front of a fire, making out our holiday cards, or trimming the tree. Thanks to technical advances and digital editing, we have a special treat for readers of this feature: A duet with the King and a princess of country music. Check out the YouTube video of Elvis Presley and Martina McBride singing "Blue Christmas." You'll most likely recognize the original clip that was used to make this montage; it's been around for quite some time. The single is off the album, released last month by Sony BMG. Elvis Presley Christmas Duets will give you ten of these after-the-fact duets and three bonus Christmas songs by Elvis alone. The Amazon page (found by clicking the ad below) has a related-media video, or you can look at photos, behind the scenes footage, and the album's EPK at splash cast. Jamie Foxx – "Just Like Me" (feat. T.I.) The video to "Just Like Me", the latest single from Foxx's upcoming album was made available to YouTube viewers today. There's no need to go hunt it down, however, we have it embedded below. Directed by film director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour), the video is a modern day twist on the classic song "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better." In the end, of course, Foxx comes to realize his co-star is more like him than he wanted to first admit. Intuition, which carries the single, will be released December 16 and is Foxx's third album. The Fray – "You Found Me" "You Found Me" is the lead single from the upcoming album from the Fray. The self-titled release will hit stores and internet outlets February 3. 2009, but this single is already available via Amazon, iTunes, and the band's website. Scroll down to check out the video for this song, which made its premiere as the backdrop for the promo video for the upcoming season of Lost.

This week’s adventure takes place in the Balearic Islands, two of them specifically: Majorca (or Mallorca) and Minorca (or Menorca). There are several other islands which comprise the Balearics, most of them are known more for their wild nightlife and fabulous beaches than for their gastronomic temptations. Spain’s natives have come out of their shells, so to speak, over the past 40 years or so, beginning about the same time as the country was “discovered” by the rest of Europe. Until incorporated into the European Community, the forerunner of the European Union of today, the Spaniards were much more reserved and proper, Spanish society running seemingly on pomp and formality. Plus with the Franco era, the country became much more isolated. The Balearics were also a well-kept secret. When rich Europeans discovered the Balearics, Majorca and Ibiza first became known for the idle rich playboys who steered their yachts into the islands’ gorgeous harbors. Then came the British, quickly followed by the Germans, both groups now considered the scourge of these islands. The British tourists are known for being “lager louts,” while the Germans are known for staking out prime beach spots well before dawn, marking out their large, respective territories with towels, to be claimed after breakfast and to be rigorously guarded the remainder of the day. With the lager louts came more British who catered to the louts by opening bars and nightclubs which, even with today’s more relaxed Spanish population, cause a continual stir with their ‘drink ‘til you drop’ atmosphere. And, of course, the next wave was property developers. All these louts and Germans needed places to stay, didn’t they? Construction was rampant, officials were regularly bribed to allow otherwise illegal hotels and houses, and it’s only been in the past couple of years that these matters have been addressed by the Spanish authorities. None of this is covered in this series of videos, but I feel it should have been touched on to explain the present-day mood of the Spanish, which is that rampant commercialism and tourism do not always make a good mix. The Balearics will never be what they once were, but at least the authorities now seem better prepared for the future health of the islands. Which is where we come in on this week’s episode, with one of the distinct improvements that came to the islands with the playboys, louts, and Germans, the menu. Claudia and the Iron Chef waste little time in getting to the food. The pair start their day the way the locals do: at a place called Ca’n Juan de S’Aico, which has been around since 1700. It’s famous for its pastries and ice cream. Not just ordinary pastries and ice creams, but the stuff of legend. Another quick aside here, European pastries are light years ahead of most American made pastries for three reasons. First, most European food preparation shops and restaurants use only fresh ingredients. Everything that can be, is made from scratch. The second reason is that all, or nearly all, European offerings are made on-site. Few American bakeries make their own goods these days, the majority of the things being made in a factory setting hundreds of miles away. If not the finished product, the “makings,” meaning that in some cases, the local bakeries at most bake a preparation that’s already made when it’s delivered, except for the actual baking. And the third reason is that American pastries are loaded with sugar as a substitute for the real taste and natural sweetness which comes from natural, fresh ingredients.

Oh… my… gawd. I just looked up at the clock and realized that it was 11:26AM. Even more important, 11:26AM on a Friday. Yikes. The whirlwind of Thanksgiving preparations and celebrations has made me completely forget the day. So… Thanksgiving. Every year the Hallmark-style twist on the emotions begins — that no matter how bad things might seem, there are always people whose situations are far worse. This is true. Compared to U.S. citizens who have lost their jobs and/or homes, I should have no complaints. And contrast even their predicaments with the horror of Darfur? No contest. I don't even know how I feel about my situation. "Odd" might be the word. No… "disoriented." Yes, that's it. It has been a very testing year for me and TheWife™. In a time span of less than six months, our extended family has been transformed into a pair. Make that a trio: me, TheWife™, and Rafiki the GreatestCockerSpanielInTheWorld™. After the passing of my mother, we had a relatively uneventful summer, with me working at home part time to spend some more time with my dad. A few months ago, dad came down with a case of pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. During his rehab stint at a nearby nursing facility, he decided that he wanted to stay there. I guess the idea of spending any time alone at home in this big, rambling house was just too daunting. Truth be told, I was scared of that idea as well. Dad's decision has, I suppose, brought a measure of relief all around, but it has left us with a certain feeling of disorientation. I have spent the better part of the last couple of days completely reorganizing the first floor. Dad's bedroom is now the guest bedroom. His living room is now the formal dining room (with piano), and the living room is now an actual living room for the first time since we moved here over four years ago. After visiting Dad yesterday while he had his Thanksgiving dinner (he can't as yet visit here due to stupid insurance regulations), we came home to start cooking for the kids who would show up later in the evening. The dinner was great, and I have to admit that one transition that's fine by me is that now the kids have to clean up after dinner. Freaking awesome! We had a nice breakfast with everybody this morning, with Yo-Yo Ma providing the nerve-calming soundtrack. It's the day after Thanksgiving, and things still feel kinda strange… we'll just have to see what time does with the situation.

As I understand it, the crux of Christmas is giving and sharing. Isn’t that nice? It is — and a lot of people would do well to remember these sentimental verbs as they traverse the financially frightening hustle and bustle of this holiday season. Festivals of old celebrated the return of longer days and shorter nights with community meals and fellowship. Nowadays we regard these traditions as quaint, reserving them for the poorest and most unfortunate among us. As more of us become poorer and more unfortunate with each passing foreclosure, tradition might be the escape valve we need. Those who might suffer for lack of what they used to have are the people who used Christmas to compete with their neighbors (although, if I know the male psyche, the competition will revolve around who has it worse), those whose rituals revolved solely around gifts, and those who upped the ante with each passing year by making things ever more extravagant. The Grinch had it right when he said, even before his heart grew three sizes, “It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!” Indeed it did, and always has. It also came without credit. It came without banks. It came without financing, savings, or angst. While the hungry and homeless are a modern-day focus, it’s worth giving a bit of thought to what else is needed after we’ve dressed, eaten, and found a place to sleep. Such was the intent behind Christ’s birth, the story of St. Nicholas (regardless of whether you believe these are stories of fact or fiction) and the Yule: everyone contributes. Not most to the rest, but rather everyone to each other. We’ve buried the concept of giving under heaps of commercialism and political correctness to the point that no one seems to remember how it all started, but what lies beneath has not rotted away. It’s waiting to be found in much the same way and for much the same reason we squeal with delight (even if just on the inside) to see our stockings full and things poking out the top. Tumultuous times remind us of how little we have on the outside. These times are also an opportunity to remember how much we have on the inside. There are many venues for giving that require little or no financial output, the most gracious of which is giving of ourselves to those we don’t even know — yet. While a homeless, single mother many years ago, I volunteered to serve meals to other homeless people for one reason only: I was provided a place to keep my children safe and warm as well as a way to feed them. I felt selfish, insincere, and a little deceptive. Oh well, it was my kids and me against the world. By the end of the first week I felt honest, helpful, and accomplished. That was most unexpected. When I shared this with others at the shelter, I was told I’d underestimated my own value while understandably focused on making sure my children were protected.

I come here and I tell you a lot of bad things.  I talk about what's wrong on a ton of different TV shows. I tell you just a couple of days before it happens for real that Pushing Daisies cancellation is a virtual certainty.  I point out plot flaws, bad acting, ridiculous storylines, and dissect reality-TV contestants whom we never want to see again. Now, that's all good.  I wouldn't change a thing about that.  I'm here to tell the truth, whether it's My Name is Earl managing to be funny after an entire season where it wasn't, or that The Amazing Race needs to add a literacy test to their contestant-selection process.  The unfortunate side of my truth-telling is that as much as I love television, the negative aspects tend to stand out and I tend to discuss them.  Well, not today.  Today we are all sweetness and light (and completely ignoring Pushing Daisies actual, official, cancellation). You see, I have in my grubby little hands the ABC Family "25 Days of Christmas" schedule.  For those of you out there who seem to think that it's simply too early to start thinking about Christmas, you're wrong… wrong, wrong, wrong.  Thanksgiving is a week away and the Christmas season starts the day after Thanksgiving, so it's totally time to prepare.  My perusing of the ABC Family schedule seems to indicate that there are three new specials this year and a ton of other good stuff.  Specials-wise we're getting A Miser Brothers' Christmas, Snow 2 Brain Freeze, and Christmas in Wonderland.  The first two of these are sequels… sort of.  Well, the first sort of and the second definitely.  Let me clarify here – Snow 2 Brain Freeze is a sequel, the sequel to the ABC Family original film Snow from a couple years back.  Ashley Williams (she grew up right near me and I've liked her ever since I saw her on How I Met Your Mother) and Tom Cavanagh are both returning Then, A Miser Brothers' Christmas.  That features Snow Miser and Heat Miser from the truly classic Christmas special – The Year Without a Santa Claus, one of those great Rankin/Bass Christmas specials.  They did stuff like 'Twas the Night Before Christmas; Santa Claus is Coming to Town; Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph; the Red-Nosed Reindeer (all of which, save Frosty seem to be airing on ABC Family this year).   They even have some of the original cast coming back for the new Miser Brothers' (Mickey Rooney and George S. Irving to be specific). There's also a Patrick Swayze/Carmen Electra pic (that would be the non-sequel), Christmas in Wonderland.  That one features a down-on-their-luck family finding a big bag o' cash which turns out to belong to a couple of crooks who are less than amused by the loss of the bag.  Of course, the movie also features Chris Kattan and Tim Curry, so while the crooks may not be amused, the thing may be amusing (no promises though, I haven't seen it). So, on ABC Family from December 1st to 25th there will be three new things, a bunch of new-to-ABC-Family things, lots of Dr. Seuss, and some classic Christmas specials. It's okay, you can admit you're ready for Christmas.  I won't tell anyone.